In Julia Morgenstern’s framework, the second level of difficulties with organization are those she dubs “External Realities.” These are things beyond your control such as unrealistic workload or uncooperative partners.
This is a tricky category, despite the fact that there are really only two options- acceptance of the external reality and mitigation of the external reality.
Mitigation of the external reality is commonly suggested strategy. For example, if you want to take a gym class at 6:30 pm, but your boss frequently wanders in to your office at 5:45 pm to have a long brainstorming session, then signing up for a 6:30 am class instead is a work around. For those of you with understanding bosses and no fear about setting boundaries, go ahead and tell your boss you have to leave at 6 pm exactly. Then sign up for the 6:30 am class after being late for class 3 times running due to traffic. 🙂
Mitigation of external realities can be empowering. You manage to accomplish your goals or habits despite the huge obstacle. Go you!
On the other hand, sometimes it just isn’t possible to mitigate the issue. You have to accept the external reality and perhaps abandon the goal. This is a horrible feeling since it feels like admitting defeat. But it is so corrosive to continually “fail” at something. Better to accept the reality and focus your attentions on something you can accomplish. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion and let go of the habit or goal.
In general, things that require other people to change fall in this category (unless there is a clear way to mitigate, per our chatty boss example). You have no control over others, so let it go. Easier said than done, but inability to change others is probably something that experience tells you is a truth. Other external factors that may fail in this category are poor health or limited time. These can be really hard to recognize and accept, since there is a cultural narrative of ‘gutting through it’. Just because Thomas Edison worked 20 hour days doesn’t mean that work pattern is healthy for you. If you are ill, if you are tired, if you cannot do it right now, accept that and move on. In this case, prioritizing the goals and habits that are essential and letting everything else go is a perfectly sane and healthy approach.